


Cuffed

by thatfragilecapricorn



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:09:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27947330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatfragilecapricorn/pseuds/thatfragilecapricorn
Summary: Post episode for The Amazing Maleeni. Humor.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Kudos: 16





	Cuffed

“Let me just show you this trick, Scully,” Mulder coaxed, holding up a pair of silver handcuffs. Ever since they worked on the case with the Amazing Maleeni, he had a renewed interest in magic tricks. The mysterious, the unexplained, and the unsolved had been thrilling to Mulder since his adolescence, and in his younger years that included illusions and magic tricks. At least with magic tricks, he was in on the secret, which he liked. Unfortunately, Scully rolled her eyes every time he pulled out so much as a deck of cards, not convinced this was a suitable hobby for an almost middle-aged man.

“Mulder, this isn’t going to fool me. We use handcuffs at work,” she replied, exasperated. 

“Come on, please?” he asked, giving her the puppy dog eyes that he knew she couldn’t resist. And Mulder was right - instead of arguing, Scully just held out a limp hand. He slapped one side of the cuffs on her and then the other on himself. They actually felt pretty heavy for fake cuffs, but he didn’t skimp on magic supplies, he thought proudly. 

“Ok, do the trick,” Scully grumbled, clearly already tired of the game. Mulder took out a plastic magic wand and tapped the chain between them. Nothing happened.

Scully raised her eyebrows. “Mulder?”

He tried to school his features so Scully wouldn’t recognize his “panic face.”

“Mulder?” she repeated, more urgently this time.

“Uhh, I think I may have the wrong cuffs,” he stated sheepishly.

“What?!” she shrieked. “These are real cuffs?”

Mulder grimaced, but didn’t reply. 

“Well, get your key,” she said slowly, probably confused as to why that wasn’t his first move.

He was still grimacing. “Remember I lost mine and I needed to get it replaced?”

Scully sighed, “Let me guess? You never did?”

“You are correct,” he said, hoping Scully wouldn’t kill him.

She sighed again. “I have a key, but it’s at my apartment.”

Scully didn’t want to walk through Mulder’s apartment building with the handcuffs showing, so they had to come up with a way to hide them. Their solution was to throw a jacket between them to cover the chain. 

“What’s the big deal, Scully?” he asked on their way out.

“I don’t want your neighbors to think we’re into some weird sex thing,” she responded.

“Well, aren’t we?” he asked, which earned him a pinch in the waist.

“Mulder!” she whisper-yelled.

“What?” he asked, “That’s not what you were saying last night.”

She pinched him again. “I know, but I don’t want your neighbors to know about it.”

Luckily they arrived at her car without encountering anyone. Scully made Mulder crawl into the passenger seat through the driver’s side, even though he was bigger than her. He hit his knee against the gear shift, but Scully ignored his “ouch.” The whole ride she complained how unsafe it was to drive with one hand, which caused Mulder to roll his eyes. Like she didn’t drink coffee every day on her drive to work.

Unfortunately, they weren’t as lucky when they reached Scully’s building. In the lobby, they ran into her neighbor, who looked a little confused to see them walking with a jacket hiding their arms.

“Hello, Mrs. Brown,” Scully said stiffly, obviously trying to exit the situation as quickly as possible.

“Oh, Dana dear, hello,” Mrs. Brown said with a smile. She looked up at Mulder, seemingly impressed with his height.

“Who is your friend, Dana? Do you think he could help me get something off of a high shelf? I’m afraid to use the step ladder -”

Scully cut her off, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Brown, but we’re in a bit of a rush. Maybe another time.” And then she dragged Mulder away before he could say anything. He tried very hard not to laugh even though he found the situation extremely humorous.

Once inside her apartment, Scully located her key quickly (she really was organized, Mulder thought fondly) and unlocked the two of them. She dramatically shook her wrist out, even though they were loosely cuffed and only for about twenty minutes, and sat down on the couch.

Mulder walked to stand in front of her. He dangled the handcuffs suggestively. 

“Now that that’s sorted out, I have some ideas of what we could do with these.” He waggled his eyebrows.

Scully was not amused and threw a pillow at his head, which he easily deflected. He put the cuffs in his pocket. Maybe another time...


End file.
